Mezzamorphis

Another Christmas has come and gone, my 33rd here on this mortal coil. Like most people, this holiday season always brings about memories of when I was a child. Certain things stick out in my mind, things like…

… being at what was then Grandma and Grandpa Ginn’s house (now where my parents live), opening up the first Star Wars toy I can remember. It was an X-Wing, complete with stickers to simulate the moss of Dagobah. Regretted putting those stupid stickers on from the very beginning.

… what was probably my first Christmas at that house after we moved in, and we put the Christmas tree in the basement. Christmas morning I came downstairs to a Knight Rider big wheel that I rode all over the place. Something gnaws at the back of my head saying that I rode it down the stairs once, but surely I wouldn’t have been that stupid, would I?

… always having Christmas dinner (in Kansas, that means at noon) with my Dad’s family. As the years went on that family got progressively bigger and bigger, to the point where we had about 60 in one house one year.

… always having Christmas with Mom’s family the weekend before or after Christmas. This was fun because you were either getting presents early, or you had more presents to look forward to. Yes, I was a greedy little kid. Sue me.

… the clothes that I would often get from grandparents. They were very well meaning, but quite often they would pick out some phenomenally ugly stuff. Remember, this was the 80s and early 90s, so ugly takes on a whole new meaning. Occasionally they would hit a home run with one, but more often than not they would strike out and break the bat over your head.

… candlelight services at our church. It always seems like on of the most peaceful, serene times of year when the lights are out and the church is lit up only by candlelight. The most memorable was when I was 18 and Dad had some, er, difficulty blowing out the candle. I love my father, and I know he probably hates that story, but we laughed so hard that night. I’ll never forget that.

… the year we had pizza for Christmas dinner because I had sold everyone these stupid cards from Pizza Hut for a school fundraising thing. I think they were some kind of buy one, get one free thing that was unlimited. I don’t even remember what it was for, but my family dutifully ponied up for them, then proceeded to run Pizza Hut into the ground getting their free pizza. Never had that fundraiser again.

… playing pitch (a card game) or Trivial Pursuit with my mom’s family. The card games often involved accusations of cheating, mainly against my father and myself. There was also name calling, under-the-breath swearing, and out in the open swearing when someone lost. Oh, and laughter to the point of tears.

As I’ve gotten older, my memories shift from those of my extended family to those of my wife and our family. Memories like…

… our wedding. Our anniversary is December 14, and our wedding had some Christmas-ness to it, so that is always on my mind each year. And, weddings lead to honeymoons, which for us meant…

… Walt Disney World. You really can’t beat WDW at Christmastime. Collette’s dad spoiled us (ruined us, really) and paid for us to go to WDW for our honeymoon as a wedding gift. That turned into us wanting to go back constantly, and always at Christmas. The lights, the weather, and the magic were wonderful. Unfortunately, other people have discovered that as well and it’s a lot more crowded than it used to be. Still, a great place to celebrate the holidays.

… my own children. Ashlee’s first Christmas while we were living in Oklahoma. Alex’s first Christmas at the house we were renting in Kansas. Katie’s first Christmas last year, and David’s first Christmas just last week. Such great memories.

All in all, Christmas is probably the best time of year. I’m looking forward to next year already, but I’m also happy to be past the holiday season this year. I’m ready for the rest of winter, semester two of seminary, Easter, spring, storms, and summer to come back around.

(I wrote this about six months ago for a local magazine, but I’ve not seen it published yet. They had their time, so I’m posting it here. Hope you enjoy!)

For a seven year old, giving anything up is difficult. Children, like all of us, are by nature selfish people. When a child decides to give up something personal to help someone they don’t even know, it is a special thing to witness.

In April, our daughter Ashlee noticed an article on the front page of a small-town newspaper about a girl who had donated her hair to a charity called Locks of Love. This charity provides hairpieces to children under the age of 18 who have long-term hair loss due to a medical condition. The hairpieces are given at low cost or free of charge.

She began reading the article and asking questions about it. “Why did the little girl pictured cut her hair?” “Where does the hair go?” “What do they do with it?” After a few questions, we pulled up Locks of Love’s website and began telling her about all that the charity does. We were about to end the conversation, thinking it was just part of satisfying the curiosity of a seven year old. She sat thoughtfully for a moment, then said “I want to do that.”

When we understood that she was serious about it, we sat her down and told her what she needed to do. She had to cut off at least 10 inches of hair, and we would send it in for her. We also told her how proud we were that she wanted to contribute to such a great cause.

The morning of April 30, my wife took Ashlee to Salon 203 in Van Alstyne. When they arrived, the salon was about to close for the day. However, when Ashlee and Collette explained why they were there, Whitney Mandes exclaimed that she would love to be the one to cut Ashlee’s hair. Thirty minutes later, Ashlee had a new, shorter hair cut and an 11 inch ponytail of  hair to send to Locks of Love.

We mailed off the package containing her hair the next week. It’s funny how such a nondescript brown package can mean so much. To us, this was a happy moment, a signal of the growing maturity of our oldest daughter. It was inspired by a little girl from a small town in Kansas. We may never know who receives Ashlee’s gift. It is our prayer that this story inspires others to give as well.

This year, I’m thankful for…

…my lovely wife. As we close in on 13 years of marriage, I find that I love you more than the day we met. You’re the most beautiful woman in the world, the greatest mother, and my best friend. I can’t imagine life without you. God truly blessed me with the perfect helpmate. You allow me to do so many things, and support me in every one of them. I love you twice as much as yesterday and half as much as tomorrow.

…my beautiful daughter Ashlee. As you grow much too quickly into a young woman, it is my honor to watch you blossom. I love it when you’re silly, and love it when you’re serious. You are such a sweet and loving princess. I love that God made you so much like me. You’re my snuggle buddy.

…my awesome son Alex. You’re so funny to watch hop around when you play video games. You get more exercise in 20 minutes of Lego Star Wars than you would in an hour on a bicycle. Your sweet heart is a gift from God that I treasure and try to handle with care. Keep being awesome.

… my angel girl Katie. What do I say about you? When God made you he broke the mold, then banished the mold maker. Your fierce determination is matched only by your immovable will. I can’t wait to see what you are going to grow up to be. Every morning you greet us with a smile brighter than sunshine, then wish us goodnight with a snuggle and laugh. Even though you were unexpected, I can’t imagine life without you.

… my little David. I still feel like I barely know you. Just six months into your life, you push on through all the annoyances of being the youngest sibling. Your mom and I know the feeling and we empathize with you. You’re going to be the fair haired, blue eyed child, totally different from the others. God put a cute bow on our natural family.

… my parents. You’ve always been patient with me, letting me go my way with suggestions, but never making demands. I know you don’t get to see your grandchildren as often as you would like, and I wish that I could change that. We may disagree sometimes, but you’ve never held my opinions against me. You’re generous, loving, understanding, and the best parents a child could ever wish for. You make it easy to follow the fifth commandment. I’ll always be indebted to you for making me who I am. I’ll always love you.

… my church family. What do I say to such a wonderful group of people? Even with my mistakes, foibles, lack of confidence, and overbearing opinions, you all accept me. I’m humbled that you allow me to be a worship leader week in and week out. I’m emboldened by the work that you all do on a weekly basis. I’m so blessed to be part of a church family that truly cares for each other and the community around us, whether that community be Anna, Honduras, Ethiopia, or beyond. My family and I are supported in ways that we’ve never really experienced, and blessed because of it. This last year has been such a ride and I can’t wait to see where we go from here.

… my job. At a time when so many people are out of work, I’m blessed to have the job that I have. What makes it even better is that I’m able to thrive and grow in my position. Sure, there are the times of drudgery and fixing things that someone else broke, but overall I can’t be more pleased. Ray, you are as generous as you are kind and my family can’t thank you enough each month for my paycheck.

… my Lord and Savior. As I move forward in life, I realize that I can’t do it without the strength I get from You. I learn more about my faith through school, but I truly grow when I spend time with You. I pray that everyday I learn from my mistakes and I am able to turn those mistakes into successes for Your glory. Keep me humble, no matter my position. Keep me always looking to You. Really, just keep me. Each day is one more day closer to eternity, and I hope that I’m doing everything possible with the time I have to advance Your kingdom. I know that it can only be done through You, but You’ve given me my gifts and my ministry. I lean on you for the results.

(This post was originally written March 25, 2004 after the death of my grandfather. I wanted to add it over here so that I don’t lose it in the future.)

I know I haven’t put anything new up on the site in a while, and for the few (two, three maybe?) people that actually come to it, I apologize. My life just isn’t exciting enough to keep anybody informed on it.

This is one update that I really don’t want to do, but I felt I should put it up anyway. This morning about 12:30, my Grandpa Ginn died. No euphemism for it, no ‘passed away’ or ‘gone to rest’ or any of that stuff. He’s gone. Forever. Grandpa is the first of my immediate family to die, so this is a new experience for me. Grandma Pettigrew died when I was three, so I don’t remember much about her. Grandpa Ginn is a different story.

Now, the Christian part of me knows that he isn’t gone. He is home with God now, which is a very very good thing. Grandpa had some health problems the last couple of years and had been in the hospital for about a month now. He broke his hip a couple weeks ago, then had surgery on it about a week ago. They moved him back to the hospital in Caldwell (my hometown, in case you don’t know) Monday. It makes me very happy to know that he doesn’t have to worry about his hip, feeling weak, or any of the frailties that come with being over 90 years old.

There is another side of me that misses him already. Grandpa was someone that I have always greatly admired. You see, it was Grandpa that always showed me what it was like to be an entreprenuer. He never sat me down and told me about it, that just wasn’t his way. Some of my earliest memories of Grandpa were him driving around delivering propane gas to people. He had his route and he always delivered it on time. Grandpa farmed, owned a lumberyard, designed and built two houses that I know of along with all the outbuildings where my parents lived, and most importantly, he was the patriarch of a family which expanded quite a bit. Grandpa had three children, nine grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, and four great-great-grandchildren. Add spouses and stepchildren and that’s over 50 people in a house at the same time for holidays. You try cooking enough turkey for everyone.

Another thing that I will always remember about Grandpa are his trains. I remember setting them up in the basement of the house my parents live in now (Grandpa and the family built it in the 70s) and playing with them, amazed by it. Grandpa did love his trains. When Collette and I went to Disney World one year, they had a display set up of different trains at Epcot, and I insisted on filming some of it just to be able to show Grandpa when we went home.

Grandma and Grandpa had been married over 70 years. I can’t even begin to imagine what Grandma must be going through right now. She is such a fireball, but I know that a lot of that fire was for Grandpa. I’m not sure what she will do now. We’ve only been married for seven years, but I don’t even want to think about life without Collette. I couldn’t fathom what it might be like after being together 10 times longer.

Well, anyway, Grandpa’s gone. I will miss him. I know the rest of my family will too. This year will be Dad’s first harvest without Grandpa. Gary will build his next project and Grandpa won’t be there to talk about it. Carolyn will sell insurance and won’t carry any for Grandpa anymore. I don’t think most of the people that I talk to now even know what that is like. Life in a small town causes the threads of family to become so intertwined that everything involves the rest of the family. It makes life so much more worth living, but then it is that much harder when one of those threads goes away.

Don’t worry Grandpa. We’ll take care of Grandma. Christmas and Thanksgiving will be empty this year without your presence and the muttering of “Oh, God” from you. Anyone who has been around you knows exactly what I’m talking about. We love you so much. We’re jealous that you have gone home without us, happy that you are now healed, and sad that we won’t see you anymore. Say hello to Marvin and Euda. Save us a mansion close to yours. We can’t wait to get there.

It’s hard to put into words what the loss of a grandparent means. I guess this is the fourth time it has happened to me, though I only remember three. My grandmother (Mom’s mom) died in 1979, when I was only three years old. The first I remember was Grandpa Ginn, who died in 2004. Grandma Pettigrew died in 2006. Tonight, Grandpa Pettigrew died.

Grandpa was born in 1914. World War I had just begun, the Panama Canal had just opened, Woodrow Wilson was president, and The Little Tramp with Charlie Chaplin was released. Army was the national champion football team, a stamp cost $0.02, and federal spending totaled $730 million.

Through Grandpa’s life, he had seen a total of 17 presidents, the Great Depression, the Dust Bowl, two World Wars, Pearl Harbor, man landing on the moon, September 11, and countless other historical events. He saw the advent of radio, television, cable, satellite, talking movies, vinyl records, cassettes, compact discs, video tapes, laser discs, and DVD. The Depression had a great impact on him, making him amazingly frugal throughout his life.

What do I remember about Grandpa? I remember sitting in his living room during the summer of 1984, watching the Los Angeles Summer Olympics on television. I remember the horses in his barn out on the farm. I remember the incredible care he put into his farm machinery, even keeping an 50 year old tractor in perfect working order. I remember the forlorn look on his face in a photo from my mother’s wedding album. I remember the 8-track player in the dash in his 1979 Buick, which still sits in the garage at his house. I remember the proud look he had whenever he attended one of the award ceremonies for my brother and I in high school. I remember him awkwardly holding my oldest son when Alex was first born and chuckling about it. I remember how whenever you asked how he was doing he always replied with “pretty fair.” I remember the smile on his face the first time I called him “Grandpa Chuck” at his 80th birthday party.

Grandpa outlived two wives, being married to Grandma Mabel for 44 years, and Grandma Mable for 26 years. I often joked with family (never to Grandpa, though he might have found it amusing) that the reason he married another Mabel/Mable was because he was too thrifty to change the monogram on her towels. From his first wife, he had two daughters, Peggy (my mother) and Donnis. Over the years he accumulated five grandsons, three granddaughters, twelve great-granddaughters, and seven great-grandsons.

Grandpa was often a quiet man, not speaking much but saying volumes. My other grandfather was the same way, so I would assume that it was something innate in their generation. His two daughters loved him more deeply and completely than any one man could ever hope for.

I miss Grandpa now, though I know those feelings will deepen as the week goes on. Already in the few hours since Mom called me, I’ve gone from just the base level of knowing it happened, to the realization that he won’t be there anymore, to tears while writing this. We knew it was coming, that it would be fairly soon, but didn’t know it would happen as swiftly as it did. Slowly and sadly, the patriarchs of my family are passing away, taking their knowledge and experiences with them. Grandpa lived a life that most wouldn’t envy, but he did it the best way he knew how. The love his family has for him proves how successful he was.

I’ve spent a lot of time on Facebook in the past few weeks. One of the fun things is reconnecting with high school classmates and friends. It’s interesting to see the direction that our lives have taken since graduation. Most of us are married, with children ranging from none to seven. Many appear to be happy with where they are, with the snowy exception here and there.

One of the most interesting things about it to me is that we are all still connected to our hometown in some way. Many of our parents or grandparents still live there, and some never left the area. The recent death of one of my friends grandparents made me think that we are all still connected by that single strand. Something will invariably draw each of us back home, whether it be a wedding, funeral, reunion, or holiday. We don’t all descend upon that little town on the Kansas prairie at the same time, but we all cross into the city at some point.

There are exceptions of course. A few don’t have any reason to go back. I’m sure that as the years go by, more will move from the connected group to the unconnected. Slowly, living connections to our hometown will disappear and the only thing remaining will be that we grew up there and that many of us graduated from high school together.

That web of connections grows and blends together with time. Each of us has new friends and maybe new places we live. Those new friends are added into our own web, connecting us to their past, and they to ours. Our children will develop their own connections to other people, as will our grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and so on. Each person that my life touches will, knowingly or otherwise, have a connection to a small town in south central Kansas, a family farm, and a community of people willing to do anything for each other.

That’s pretty cool.

I’ve only been using my Facebook account regularly since the beginning of November last year. As of today I have 73 friends. 19 of them are from my hometown, 18 are from college, and eight of them are family. Most of them are people I’ve not seen in years, much less talked to. It’s really a pretty cool thing as we’re spread all over the country, from Key West, FL to Anchorage, AK, from Brazil to Hawaii, with some soon to be in Ukraine.

20 years ago, a long distance phone call was a luxury. Now, we can call anywhere in the US with no extra charge. 15 years ago email was just beginning to become prevalent. Just last week the kids and I sat down in front of the computer and talked to my parents in Kansas and saw them in real time. It’s not a substitute for the real thing, but it’s better than nothing.

It’s an interesting world we live in. A question before I go though. How can God use these technologies to further His kingdom? Are there any ways you know of?

… of which I do realize is eleven days old.

I got two books for Christmas from my parents. One is Red Hot Lies by Christopher Horner and the other is Peace to War by Paul Alexander. Red Hot Lies about some of the fallacies about Global Warming©/Climate Change© put out by politicians and the media. He actually infers that they might be pushing an agenda with this. Honestly, I’m shocked. (That was sarcasm.)

Peace to War looks at how the Assemblies of God moved from being pacifistic in their views on war to going along with a more pro-war stance. I actually know the author of the book from my days at Southwestern A/G University, and I was pretty excited to have opened this one up. I’m through the first two chapters of it so far, and it is quite interesting.

What is the new year going to bring? Well, we’re adding one more to the family in June, and then we’ll see after that. Yes, I did say we’ll see. We’re not ruling out adding another one to the family. We love our kids and having a baby around the house has just made us love them more. Big sister and big brother dote on their baby sister (sometimes a bit too much) and they’re going to have even more to do when LEM arrives.

OK, LEM is a name that I coined for the baby. We don’t know what we’re having yet and we had two names picked out, Lucas and Emily, though we’ve moved away from Emily now. I’m a little concerned that LEM might stick.

Anyway, another thing that I’m going to do (not hoping, not planning, going) is to write more. I’m working up some ideas for posts and I’m going to make it work. I would like to finish up some previous series that I started at my old site, and maybe start some new ones.

If there are topics you would be interested in, please let me know. I’m not an encyclopedia of all knowledge, but I do love researching and learning new things. Just not research that is associated with getting a PhD. That sucked and I quit it.

If anyone who has read the “About Me” page on this site already knows, I’ve spent more than enough time in my life in school. I’ve received a Bachelor’s of Science in Business Information Technology and a Master’s of Science in Management Information Systems. The way I see it, I’ve done a pretty good job of training my mind, which has honestly always been my strongest asset.

However, in doing so, I’ve neglected other parts of my being. Obviously, if you’ve seen any pictures of me laterly, I’m not the most svelte person. While I’m knowledgeable about the Bible and what it contains, I feel like I don’t know enough to defend it myself, much less to disciple my family in what it means. Financially, we’re doing OK, but could stand to do a lot better.

All this being said, I’ve made some personal changes, and we as a family have made some as well. What I’m trying to do is to build up muscle in other areas of my being, to bring them up to par with my intellectual training. What exactly am I doing differently?

Physically, I’m trying to eat better and have started going to taekwondo with Alex twice a week. If it wasn’t so far away (30 minutes) I would happily go more often, but twice a week is enough for right now. We are both white belts, but we have a test coming up next weekend to see if we advance to yellow belt.

Financially, Collette and I have drawn up plans to have all of our debt (minus student loans) paid off by the middle to end of next year. This includes our car, personal loans, credit cards, and a couple other debts that we’ve incurred. After that, we’ll take a year to build up our savings, then turn it loose on the house. If my calculations are correct, we’ll have it paid off completely by the end of 2013. My plans are all based on the Dave Ramsey “Total Money Makeover” book, which was so generously given to me by my brother.

Spiritually, I’m reading more about theology in an attempt to better be able to defend my faith. I know the basic talking points, but I want to know more in depth. Going back to school isn’t an option right now, because I really don’t want to. The two weeks I spent in the PhD program at UNT was enough to make me realize I don’t want any more formal education. I’ve been reading Systematic Theology by Wayne Grudem and it’s really excellent. It’s not so intellectual as to be difficult to read, but not so basic as to be boring.

So there you go. That’s my current life goals. Others are included as part of the whole, like better time management and spending more time with my family. I’ve cut down on the TV that I watch, especially as the one show I was really looking forward to this season turned out to be a dud (Heroes).

What kinds of things are you doing to maintain or make your life better?

As both an armchair meteorologist and armchair theologian, I would like to make the following observation. Weather is God’s way of telling humanity that we have no idea how things work. We may think we do, but sometimes God simply decides to throw a wrench in the works. My evidence for this follows.

This last weekend was fairly rainy and stormy. We had a pretty good storm roll through about 2AM, with a lot of rain, wind, and lightning. Then it rained pretty consistently from about 4AM until 10AM. The temperature had been dropping all day from a high of 65 at 1AM. About 6:30PM though, things started to change more.

Naturally, the kids were excited as they rarely get to see snow here in Texas. I thought that it would have a few flakes, then not much more after that. Boy, was I wrong.

8PM

9:30PM
 

Tink wasn’t sure what to think of the white stuff invading her back yard.

1AM (yes, I was still awake)

7AM Everything was covered in white.

Naturally, this meant it was time for snow angels.

Four inches of the white stuff, measured several times to make sure it was accurate.

Driving to work everything was beautiful…

… up until this. You can almost hear the people collectively asking, “What is all this white stuff? Where did it come from?!?!?” Since their brains were occupied with these thoughts, they couldn’t be bothered with driving more than 15 MPH on the freeway.
 

Such is snow on a fine March day in Texas, a day after we were under a tornado watch.

I’ve kind of turned this into a photoblog, haven’t I?