I'm still not going to identify the source of my feelings, but is it possible to feel so frustrated and angry by an event that it alters your way of thinking? Is it akin to the tsunami of a couple years ago, where the earthquake that caused it actually changed the axial tilt of the Earth? Can an event like that occur in someone's life that it changes your viewpoint entirely? I'm sure it can, but I would think that it would be something more traumatic than I experienced. Mine is emotional and spiritual more than physical, though that can cause the same issues. I just don't understand life. Right when I think it's about to get under control, everything craters at the same time. So frustrating. I commented to my wife this morning that I feel like I'm only here to serve as an example to others of what not to do.
I've been so angry today that I'm about to go scorched earth on everyone. Scorched earth is “military tactic which involves destroying anything that might be useful to the enemy while advancing through or withdrawing from an area.” Use only the “destroying everything” part and you have my feelings right now. I just want to level everything and start over. General Sherman in the Civil War used this tactic on his March to the Sea.
I'll get over it eventually. Always have. The sun still rises and sets. God is still in control. I just wish I'd get a little bit more of His long-range plan than I currently have.
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